How to manage 3 stages of stress: stopping stress before it happens, relieving stress after it happens, and managing chronic stress (100% created through my own personal experience). PLUS, how to develop a stress relief kit.
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Most of us know stress can be problematic.
Stress can wreak havoc on your health is so many different ways! It can harm your physical health, mental health, and even lead to a chronic health issue from ongoing stress that isn’t managed. Stress weakens your immune system, can mess with your sleep, cause headaches, high blood pressure, stomach pains, anxiety, depression, and even cause your organs to weaken. Yes, some stress is good. But we need to be aware of how often we stress, manage stress right away, and prevent it from becoming a regular thing, or a chronic problem.
- Depression or anxiety.
- Anger, irritability, or restlessness.
- Feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or unfocused.
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much.
- Racing thoughts or constant worry.
- Problems with your memory or concentration.
- Making bad decisions.
(Bhandari, 2020)
First, here is why I am a great person to listen to about stress
This is me in the Rocky Mountains.
I used to not acknowledge my stress, not focus on self-care to improve it, and I used to live with chronic stress. A lot of the stress I endured wasn’t my fault. In fact, I didn’t even realize I was so stressed because it was a normal thing for me that occurred due to a lot of things outside of my control. I can’t say to what extend, but I’m pretty sure it contributed to my chronic health issues.
I have experienced a lot of stress in my life! But, I do a pretty decent job now of managing my stress. I’ve figured out how to stop a lot of stress before it starts. When stress does take over, I have a toolbox of self-care concepts to reduce it and eliminate it, and I’m usually pretty good about doing them. Sometimes I get migraines and it can be extra hard to keep stress from overtaking me, but I remind myself that the pain will be worse if I don’t keep my stress under control.
Do You Recognize When You’re Stressed?
Some people may not realize how much time they actually spend stressed, how it affects them, have tools in place to combat it, or take action when necessary.
Think about these things:
- When stress is starting to arrive do you kill it before it takes over?
- Do you have a toolbox of ideas on how to best eliminate your stress effectively once it does take over?
- Do you know how to handle chronic stress?
- Does your life, in general, have too much stress? You might need to change jobs, cut back on commitments, reorganize your life, or make other adjustments.
If you are easily stressed, stressed a lot, or chronically stressed you may need to make some changes.
From my experience there are:
Three Stages of Stress
Stage 1: Being Aware of the Moment Stress is About to Take Over and Stopping It
When Can You Stop Stress?
So if you are aware of that exact moment when you are at your breaking point, you can stop stress from taking over. Probably not all the time, but often enough. If you really listen to your mind and your body, you will know exactly when you are at your tipping point of becoming stressed. For some people there may be physical signs like biting nails, twitchy eyes, sweating, muscles tightening up, slumping your body, etc. For others it might be just realizing what things normally cause you to be stressed, and when those things happen know you have a choice of how you are going to deal with them.
Those who don’t know how to pay attention to the signs might have to work on mindfulness.
Some examples of stress you may be able to prevent would be: in a work situation where you become overwhelmed, handling multiple responsibilities at home, dealing with conflicts with friends, family, or coworkers etc. Obviously this is not applicable in cases of dealing with severe pain, the stress of a family member dying, an accident, or another traumatic event. Stress may come on quickly in those situations and it’s okay to be stressed. You just need to manage it at that point.
How Do You Stop Stress?
At that moment when you are aware of stress taking over you have to pause for a minute, ask yourself is stressing about this really going to help me? Will it benefit me to be stressed? The answer should be NO if stress causes you to lose focus, take longer to complete things, creates discomfort in your body, and so on. It sounds silly, but it really does work. I’ve been doing it for so long it’s almost automatic sometimes. Next, take a couple of deep breathes. Clear your mind for a couple of minutes.
Even if you are super busy trying to finish a project on a deadline, just 1-5 minutes of calming your mind meditating could mean an hour of more productive stress-free work. If you are in a situation where you are not dealing with a timeline, you might want to take a break and take a walk.
5-Minute Meditation You Can Do Anywhere
If you are dealing with a timeline situation, instead of walking or meditating consider taking just five minutes to make a list. Lists are awesome! If you have too much going on in your head write it down. Then you won’t forget anything, you will get the satisfaction of checking things off a list as you go. In addition, you might reprioritize things and realize not everything on your list has to be done right away. You will then be able to better focus on the things that absolutely need to get done.
Reorganizing Priorities and Handling Unrealistic Concerns
I sometimes get overwhelmed by thinking I have so many things to do and not enough time. I also realize some of the things I’m obsessing about getting done could actually wait or perhaps someone else could help me with them.
Sometimes our priorities are all wrong, but we are too deep into the sinking sand to realize it. And then sometimes we are worried about things that are not very realistic. If that’s your problem, write down your worry, write down the worst-case scenario, the best-case scenario, and the realistic scenario. This will help you realize what is realistic and what is not.
Stage 2: Stress has Taken Over – Relieving the Stress
For whatever reason, you are now stressed and hopefully you are fully aware of it. If it takes you a while to realize it, you might need to work on being more mindful.
It is now time to manage the stress so that it doesn’t consume you, get in the way of getting things done, cause you to lose sleep, weaken your immune system, lead to chronic stress, or even negatively affect those around you. Stress shows up differently for everyone. Some may just have mental problems such as a lack of concentration, negative thoughts, worry, and so on. Other people may have physical symptoms like biting their nails, twitching eyes, sweating, muscles tightening up, etc.
So how do you manage the stress? Well if you haven’t already, you might start by trying some of the ideas I mentioned above:
- Talk yourself out of stressing
- Meditation
- List creating
- Walking (a walk outside if possible, nature has a way of calming mental and physical stress)
Some other options for a stress toolbox would be:
- Essential Oils
Rub some essential oils on your skin. Young Living has an essential oil called “Stress Away” that is a combination of the best oils for stress. For a better price, check out this essential oil kit! I have used essential oils many times when stressed and so I can personally say they can help! Stress Relief Blend Set 100% Pure, Best Therapeutic Grade Essential Oil Kit – 3/10mLBuy Here.
- Bath
Try a relaxing bath with some essential oils or some other type of aromatherapy. To help lower stress hormones, one recommendation is to use 10 drops of lavender, a handful of Epsom salts, and ½ cup of baking soda. I also love EO Eucalyptus and Arnica Botanical Bubble Bath and EO Botanical French Lavender Bubble Bath they are my favorite bubble bath products and have very natural ingredients. - Music
For some people music helps. You can either put on a song that you really love, or try finding meditation music, nature sounds, or soft instrumentals. - Talking to someone
Depending on the situation, your best choice might be to share your frustrations with a close friend or family member. If you have a lot on your mind and you keep it all bottled up, it is just going to weigh on you over time. - Journaling
If talking to someone is out of the question, many people find writing helpful. It doesn’t even have to make sense, it could just be scribbling down anything that pops into your mind. The Mindfulness Journal: Daily Practices, Writing Prompts, and Reflections for Living in the Present MomentBuy Here.
- Exercise
Exercise is one of the most popular ways to handle stress. Whether it is a relaxing walk, lifting weights, or high-intensity cardio (view my blog on HIIT and cardio), it could be just what you need. Yoga is also supposed to be one of the best exercises for de-stressing. - Hobbies
If you have a hobby that calms you down like a sport, crafts, gardening, or whatever it might be, make some time for it.
- Prayer
Many people find peacefulness and a sense of calmness after praying. - Massage
Whether you have a massage device, go to a professional massage therapist, or have a friend or significant other give you a massage, it can really help with relaxation. I know multiple people who got this for Christmas last year and loved it! I might have to add it to my Christmas list. Shiatsu Neck and Back Massager with Heat , VIKTOR JURGEN Deep Tissue Kneading Sports Recovery Massagers for Neck, Back, Shoulders, Foot - Playing with a Pet
Have a furry friend? Pets can help with stress. My stress levels actually decreased when I adopted my first cat. Weirdly, I think I lost like 5 lbs in a week. Although, pets can add stress too, especially if they are young puppies or kitties. So consider adopting a cat or dog that has already had some training. - Wine
Okay, so this isn’t something that should become a habit. But, if you have just 1 glass of wine once in a while to calm you down, that’s okay. - Relaxing Time with a Friend or Family Member
If your stress is home-based, sometimes you just need to get out of the house and go do something fun with someone you enjoy spending time with. If you spend too much time out and about, stay home and do something relaxing with a friend or family member. - Grounding
I talked a lot about grounding in my nature blog. Grounding is walking barefoot through grass, dirt, sand, etc., or could even be lying in the grass. The earth provides electrical energy. It provides a negative charge, and often the body is more positively charged so grounding provides a balance. - Foods
Stress eating is not a good idea! Avoid junk food. It is not going to help you, and will just lead you down a very unhealthy road (I’ve been there). However, there are some foods that are said to help with stress take a look at my blog on Super Foods. There are also many teas out there with special herbs that are great for stress relief. I picked this brand because it is a brand I use that is known for being high quality. It is organic which is great because some teas can contain pesticides and other unnatural ingredients. Yogi Herbal Tea Bags, Purely Peppermint 16 Buy Here. - Coloring
Have you heard of Mandalas? Coloring for adults has become a popular thing in the last 10 years, mostly because it is said to help with stress and mindfulness. There are a lot of adult coloring books to purchase, but you can also print free coloring sheets out online.
Amazing Patterns: Adult Coloring Book, Stress Relieving Mandala Style Patterns Buy Here.
Stress-Relieving Adult Coloring Book: Animal Designs Buy Here.
Your Stress Toolbox
To manage your stress, it is essential you have a stress toolbox (actionable concepts you will take to relieve your stress when you become stressed). I have now given you many great options to add to your stress toolbox. It is up to you to decide what to add. Depending on the stress scenario, you may have different stress toolboxes for different stressful situations. I know I do. I think I’ve done all of these things at some point for various situations to help reduce my stress levels. You might have to try a few different things in different scenarios to find out what works best for you.
You can even combine some of the things above into your own personal stress relief kit! Then, when your stressed you just pull out your box and decide what you would like to do. For example, you could have a box with a journal, bath products, essential oils, a coloring book, a meditation exercise, teas, chocolate, etc.
If you struggle with what to do to cope with your stress here is a kit with some great ideas on coping with stress in a variety of situations. 52 Essential Coping Skills: for Stress Management, Anxiety Relief – Exercises to Build Emotional Resilience, Confidence, Positivity and Well-Being Buy Here.
My Stress Toolbox for Chronic Pain
Stress Toolbox
When I was at my lowest points being chronically sick, dealing with fatigue, pain throughout my body, depression, worrying I was going to be in pain forever, I utilized different things for stress than what I do now. I used to journal, but I didn’t want to write about my pain. I lost interest in hobbies. The sweet wine I used to drink caused migraines, and exercise was a struggle.
So I used meditation, which can help with pain but didn’t for me, it helped with the stress. Meditation helped increase my mindfulness, which helped me to just get through the day and not think about the next day or the day after that. I also colored a lot to calm my mind. Then on the really difficult days, Christian music helped me. Today, I turn to completely different things for managing my stress.
The Importance of Self Care
No matter what your stressful situation is, you can’t ignore the stress you are dealing with even if you can’t get rid of it completely. Everyone needs to practice self-care to manage their stress. It doesn’t matter how many responsibilities you have or how many people rely on you to do things for them. If you don’t take time for yourself, you are going to end up sick and be of no help to anyone.
You also don’t want your stress to turn into anger and negatively affect those around you. Friends and family members should understand when you just need a little time to do something for yourself. If you don’t have enough people to support you, consider finding a community that does a lot to help other people like a church.
Stage 3: You Are Chronically Stressed
At this point, your stress has become an ongoing thing where it has started to or has already affected your day-to-day life for weeks, months, or longer. This isn’t abnormal. It can happen to anyone at some point in their life. Chronic stress can cause massive problems though if not dealt with. It can lead to insomnia, muscle pain, anxiety, anger, depression, a weakened immune system, chronic illness, or something else.
So How Do You Combat Your Chronic Stress?
Definitely try some of the things mentioned above, make sure you are making time for self-care to keep stress levels a bit lower.
If you are dealing with something that is just going to take time for your stress levels to drop, you might want to try some all-natural supplements. There are many great supplements that help with improving cortisol levels, help with sleep, and just day-to-day living. They are not great for a quick fix, but are great for handling ongoing stress for a limited time. Here are 7 Adaptogenic Herbs or Adaptogens that Help Reduce Stress from Dr. Axe.
If you are dealing with a very traumatic or difficult situation in your life, you may also want to consider outside help like a therapist or psychologist.
Is it Time for Some Life Changes?
If you are dealing with stress that is ongoing or frequent and it is affecting your health, it might be time to make some life changes. If you have a job that is making you unhappy and stressed, it is time to make adjustments or find something new. Are you dealing with toxic friends or family members? It maybe time to put yourself first and limit or eliminate those interactions. Or maybe it is time to drop some commitments because you are saying “yes” to too many things and it’s overwhelming. Or maybe you have lost your zest and happiness in your day-to-day living, then it is time to refocus your life and figure out what matters.
Consider a Lifestyle Coach, Professional Coach, or a Wellness Coach if you need help with your direction in life.
Do you feel TRAPPED or feel like you LACK CONTROL over anything?
If you have been chronically stressed over a very long period of time, you might start to feel like you are trapped and there is no way out. Although you might not feel like you have a lot of control in your life, I promise you that you have more control than you think you do. You have control in the way you respond to things in your mind. It is always possible to change your mindset by finding helpful books or articles.
The human brain has a natural tendency to give weight to (and remember) negative experiences or interactions more than positive ones—they stand out more (Smyth, 2017). Psychologists call it the negativity bias. It is a normal thing that almost everyone struggles with at some point. Find out more about negativity bias and how to manage it here: PSYCOM.
You also have more control than you think you do in the actions that you take. You are making decisions all the time that either help or hurt you whether conscious or unconscious. Perhaps you don’t know what to do in the situation you are in and that’s okay. Turning to prayer is one recommendation. I think it is always possible to find someone out there who can help! It is just a matter of finding the right person you can trust, and be willing to listen and commit to their advice. I will talk more about this in future blogs on mental health.
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References
Bhandari MD, Smitha. (2020, November 16). WebMD/Is My Stress Level Too High?. Retrieved from: https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-level-too-high
Smyth, Brenda R. (2017, Dec. 5). SkillPath/Be More Positive … Fight the Human Tendency to Focus on the Negative Retrieved from: https://skillpath.com/blog/positive-fight-natural-tendency-focus-negative
I have a Wellness Coach Certificate, I'm an entrepreneur, an innovator, writer, and artist. My expertise includes over 7 years of marketing, research, and developing content for holistic health businesses. Plus, my own personal journey of becoming chronically sick: understanding what went wrong, and finding a way to heal and live a healthier life. I have a passion for wellness with a wealth of knowledge surrounding: wellness, flaws in healthcare, root causes for chronic illnesses, and alternative treatments.
