By: Jena, The Wellness Resolution (No Ai was used)

Find out about my challenges with self-esteem, overcoming them, and 7 ways I built up my career confidence. The one that was a huge game changer for confidence in my career was #7! But first, I want to talk about self-esteem in general.

Health Impacts of
Self-Esteem Problems

Feeling secure in who we are and accepting ourselves as is an important aspect for our health and our relationship with others. I know from experience. I used to really struggle with self-esteem and self-love, and today I feel the exact opposite about it. Which makes such a huge difference in so many areas of my life.

We all struggle from some insecurities. Some people may think they don’t struggle at all with self-esteem, but there are many ways to struggle. The struggles are different for everyone with what they have to deal with in their mind, their surroundings, etc. There are also different categories of self-esteem issues dealing with body insecurities, work insecurities, relationships insecurities, etc.

When you have a good self-esteem and love yourself (in a non-egoistical way), your mental health is sharper, you take better care of yourself, it is easier to care for others. It is a HUGE component of mental health. Additionally, if you are upset about something from the past and are constantly obsessing over it, it is going to cause stress throughout the body.

When Self-Esteem Becomes a Problem

Even when a person thinks they are really secure in who they are, life can throw a curve ball and cause doubts and insecurities. This could be from losing a job after being employed with a company for over a decade, just as an example. Additionally, when reading social media posts and blogs written by chronic pain sufferers, many of them had great self-esteem until they became chronically sick. When I became chronically sick it did cause harm to my self-esteem and self-love. Today I no longer feel that way, but I understand why people struggle. One of the things I learned is a tool that can be used no matter what the situation is.

Everyone have some doubts and insecurities, but it is a problem if you have a lot of negative talk in your head. It is a problem if it is stopping you from following your dreams. It needs to be addressed if it is harming your relationships or your social life.

Placing Blame Doesn’t Help

Before I get into talking about ways to build career confidence, I have to mention that when one struggles with self-esteem issues it only makes it worse by blaming yourself. 

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Focusing your energy on blaming other people, doesn’t necessarily help either. Whether society has caused a majority of it, or perhaps it was a specific person harmed your self-esteem (it shouldn’t be the focus, as long as they are not continuing to harm it).

I have been in the cross fires more than once with people who have tried to tear down my happiness because of their own self-esteem problems. Meanwhile, they didn’t even notice I had my own issues. I was trying to be happy for once for something good happening in my life. Don’t be that person. It just looks bad and many people can see right through it. I always could. But it still bothered me.

There are many ways schools could probably help with self esteem, as youth often struggle the most. Schools can often promote conformity over figuring out who you are and accepting that person. We have even more problems now with youth struggling with self-esteem because of social media. I honestly think kids should stay away from social media until they are at least 18. That way they know themselves better (reducing anxiety or depression from comparing themselves to others), avoid addiction early on, and they can also be more responsible about what they post.

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My Struggles with Confidence & Self-Esteem
& How I Built Career Confidence 

The more I worked on my self-esteem the more I became aware of how my mental state was holding me back. Due to self-esteem issues, I didn’t have the confidence I needed to excel in my career. The negative thoughts that spiraled kept me from seeing all of my best traits. The negativity also caused stress throughout my body and I didn’t know how to properly manage it.

There is a lot I can share about my self-esteem struggles, but I’m not going to share it all. I think it makes sense to share a bit. That way you can see this isn’t unchartered territory for me.

I had concentration issues throughout school that were not addressed. I was a spacey kid (I couldn’t pay attention for too long), teachers pointed it out in front of the whole class (CRUEL!). I would try to pay attention, but keep spacing out. So I didn’t think I was very smart, but I worked hard and got good grades anyway. But I had like no career confidence in the real world. My best answer as to why to hire me was that I was a hard worker. Even with all the help I got from the school job counseling center, I struggled.

Fake It Till You Make It

If I had to pick one word to describe me it would be “determined.” I struggled with jobs, but eventually started to build a pretty good skill set. However, when I started my own business I had no idea what I was doing, but was able to fake confidence until I gained more. I faked it while dealing with anxiety, depression, fatigue, and full on body pains. Right? Building a business is hard enough without suffering so much that you don’t want to get out of bed.  As I got better though, I got more business at the same time.

My business and my healing journey also helped me to see how smart I was. I’ve learned I’m really good at creative, problem solving which doesn’t show up on a test where this is only one correct answer. I realized I always had the capability to be really intelligent. It was other people, environments, and circumstances that were unfit for me that were the problem.

When the Environment is the Problem

I had an interesting conversation years ago with someone who I was trying to get as a client, and somewhere in the conversation I had talked about being creative and artsy. And I remember she said from her experience all artsy people have ADHD. I recall this being after me talking about my capabilities to help her. But I lost all interest in working with her. I knew she was insulting me.

I knew I was well capable of doing her project. My focus has been the best it ever has been working from home with no distractions, and not doing boring work that I’m not passionate about. I no longer had any of the ADHD signs that showed up when I was in school. I know I’m well capable of doing anything and everything I want to do. Even in school I managed to get good grades, even though I had to work harder than most people.

The conclusion from all of this, is if you don’t feel smart, intelligent, gifted, it could be the environment you are in, the people surrounding you, or the work itself.

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7 Ways to Build Career Confidence

1. Personality & Career Profiles

I have taken many personality/professional quizzes on my strengths. They have helped me to see what I’m good at and not good at. It has definitely increased my confidence in myself. Being a business owner for over 8 years, I have found it can be beneficial to do things I’m afraid of. Even things I’m not good at I can make it work. It just has to feel like the right decision for me (not because someone told me to do it).

2. Put Advice Through a Filter

I have found, no matter how smart someone is or how many degrees they have, or how long they have been in business I don’t have to do something the way they say it “should” be done. I don’t care if they are a CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. I will listen though and maybe even take notes! BUT, everything I learn from others goes through a filter of “does that work for me, does it feel right, does it work with my needs, my lifestyle, my personality.”

I’ve seen where people get discouraged because someone with a great deal of credentials told them they “should” do something, and it didn’t feel right for them. When being coached, they don’t tell you what to do, they help guide you to figure it out for yourself. They ask you thought provoking questions to help you find the answers yourself.

3. Find Your People

So having a mentor never quite happened for me and I don’t think everyone has to have a mentor. But when owning a business or even just trying to excel in your career, I do believe it is beneficial to have some sort of community.

I have always been apart of some networking group since I started my business. It makes it less lonely. There was even a period of time I wasn’t looking for new clients and I still networked. I went to a monthly networking group to be able to learn and have some social time.

Networking helps with those things you miss out on working for a company such as socializing, building relationships, support, confidence building, learning from others, helping others, holiday parties, doing something charitable, etc. Of course the benefit of selling/marketing your product/service. Then there are also the benefits of finding the best people to help with financial, taxes, marketing, organizing, etc.

4. Educate Yourself

Education is a great confidence booster. I took a bunch of courses as I was starting my business and over time. Additionally, I have watched a lot of videos, read articles, and soaked up as much information as I could from my community. I educated myself on networking, website design, and other aspects of business.

5. List Skills & Accomplishments

Once I started to gain more regular clients, I started listing out all my skills to remind myself of all the things I was good at including major accomplishments.

Two of the most valuable things I did just this last year:

6. Create a Visual Reminder

I made a circle with my main goal objective and drew lines connecting to a bunch of colored circles with all my major skills/strengths and some bullets regarding them. I taped it to the wall in my office. That way I can look at it to feel more confident, and see what other skills or strengths I’m not utilizing but could be. This had such a bigger impact then just some scribblings in a journal. I often don’t even look at it. I just visualize it in my mind and feel better about my skill set.

7. Change Your Mindset

The last most impactful thing I did was a mindset change. I started to realize it wasn’t my accomplishments that determined my success, my value, or my worth. Even if I fail at something that doesn’t impact my value. My success is determined by who I am as a whole, my growth, my character. I now understand how I can still feel valuable even if I’m unable to work much or make much money. It doesn’t mean it wouldn’t make me mad, but I wouldn’t blame myself or feel less love toward myself.

It doesn’t mean I won’t or don’t have days of insecurity (if you don’t – you probably have a pretty big ego). I just realize I don’t have to receive bunch of recognition, make loads of money, or have wild success stories. If I’m just trying to continuously work on my character, be a good person, and care for others I’m already successful.

When I’m struggling with career confidence, I will remind myself that what really matters is who I’m becoming, not what I am accomplishing.

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View All My Healthy Mind Blogs:

Being Grateful NOT a Magical Pill, BUT is Potentially Life Changing

Remove Clutter Around You & In Your Mind

Why We Need Critical Thinking & Barriers of Critical Thinking

Changing Negative Thought Patterns & Ruminating

What a Healthy Self-Esteem Really Looks Like

How Mindfulness Improves Your Health & Life

Another Year Passes, Let’s Appreciate the Journey

We Devalue Empathy, Yet We All Need It!