By: Jena 100% (No Ai was used)

This blog is all about how to feel better about yourself in general with many self-esteem boosting activities. My last blog was focused on self-esteem in your professional life, and this blog is self-esteem in your personal life or just in general. I talk about the benefits of good self-esteem, my own struggles, what really matters, and how it relates to relationships, and of course self-esteem boosting activities.

As I mentioned in my previous blog Improving Self-Esteem & Confidence in Your Career, struggling with self-esteem and confidence can impact relationships and affect a person’s health in many ways.

When you have good self-esteem you tend to take better care of yourself, care more for others, feel you can be great friends, life partners, parents, etc. It is easier to have healthy relationships. You also feel more confident about your strengths and abilities to go after your dreams. With greater self-esteem a person can more easily bounce back from negative feedback they receive from others. It is also easier to create a life that is ideal for you vs the life society or others may persuade you to have. All of these lead to greater mental health, emotional health, and possibly even spiritual health.

Improving a person’s self-esteem is a journey! It isn’t something that can be completed within a certain timeline. But you can create goals that fit into a timeline. The timeline may be shorter for some and longer for others. In order to improve self-esteem, a person has to be really motivated and willing to put in the time and work. They have to have a strong desire from within.

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My Struggles – Why I Understand the Struggle

I struggled with self-esteem way before I had health issues. I actually made significant progress on my self-esteem before I had health issues. However, when my health fell apart I realized I had way more work to do on my self-esteem then I had previously thought. I have read many stories of people who had great self-esteem until they faced an epic battle with chronic pain or a mental health condition. So I wasn’t alone in this situation.

At first my self-esteem took a huge nosedive, but over time I was able to turn it around. It was not an easy thing for me to do by any means.

Health Issues Test a Person

Chronic illness tests a person in so many ways, and if a person fights hard enough, they often can learn more life lessons than a person in a healthy state. I have developed a greater sense of self and awareness in my life than I have ever thought possible. And that is only a small piece of what I’ve learned. Let me be clear though, I’m not saying “the pain is worth it, I’ve learned so much from it.” I’ve learned a great deal, but it has come at a significant cost. I would never say it is worth it, but I also can’t imagine not knowing the things I know now. Sometimes I’ve accepted this as my life journey, and other times I’ve been angry about it.

We have to just focus on what we have control over. It is important not to blame yourself for things out of your control. My health issues have never been my fault. And so I’m not going to waste energy feeling bad about myself when I’ve done hard, challenging treatments to get better. I don’t feel like there is anyone who could face the challenges I’ve faced and do better.

If you really want to have a strong sense of self, keep reading! With chronic illness I had to learn what it really meant to have a strong self-esteem, and it is not what society has taught me.

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What Really Matters – Dig Deeper!

Before diving into self-esteem boosting activities, it is important to look at what it means to have a healthy self-esteem. If you want your self-esteem to be able to survive life’s barriers and hurdles, this is super important!

Feeling good about yourself should come from within and it should be focused on your character. It shouldn’t be about material things, recognition, money, career success, and all those things society focuses on. Those things can get taken from you, but your character you can keep.

You don’t need to be the best at anything, receive recognition, money, awards, or a fancy title to be of value in society and to be happy with yourself. You don’t have to have the house, the car, the significant other, or the kids. Society will tell you that they determine your value, but they don’t.

It is beneficial to understand your talents and skills, so that you can find a sense of purpose.  However, when you are an honest, trustworthy, have strong morales, and make an effort to care for others those things shine so much brighter.

I used to be caught up in this concept of needing feedback from the world that I was doing something meaningful and making a significant difference. Don’t get me wrong, I want to hear it! But, I was placing too much stock in that defining my value in the world. My value should be focused on my character and how I show up in the world. I see that now. I am the one to determine my value.

“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein.

Some Concepts on What Good Character May Look Like:

• Do you check in on your friends when you know they are struggling with something?
• Are you there for your loved ones?
• Do you tell people how much you appreciate them?
• Do you give to people without expecting anything in return?
• Do you give your time to help someone, even if it isn’t something you don’t enjoy doing?
• Do you provide for the less fortunate?
• Do you make plans and spend time with people, instead of waiting for them to connect with you?
• Do you show up in the world as a kind, honest, trustworthy person?

Are you aware of the amount of effort you put in to give and care for others?

I don’t feel my character is awesome. There is always room for improvement, but I try. It is a journey, not a destination. I’m aware that these things matter, and I usually notice when I miss an opportunity I should of taken. So I may be able to fix it, otherwise I just make an effort to do better the next time. But I recognize I’m human and I’m going to mess up.

In the end, the only thing that matters is our character. Do you believe you will reach the pearly gates of Heaven and see God? Based on everything I’ve been taught and have read, God isn’t going to care about a list of accomplishments or your wealth.

Genuinely connecting with other people is the most important aspect of building a great self-esteem. I talk about the importance of relationships and community in my blogs: Why We NEED Community & How To Find It and How Relationships Influence Our Health (in multiple ways) & Our Success.

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How Self-Esteem is Needed for Positive Relationships

Self-esteem is extremely important when it comes to relationships, and understanding that makes it easier to work on self-esteem boosting activities.

I used to really struggle with self-esteem issues when I was younger. Even though I was a people-pleaser/push-over, I recall a friend or two pointing out when I was being too self-involved. I’m grateful that they said something, as I made sure to make a change. This was before I was even in college, so I got to work on it before I became an adult. I think being too self-involved was a coping mechanism. Being a pushover, I often just went a long with what other people wanted to do. Sometimes people took advantage of that. But some of it was my fault, for not stating what I wanted. I had strong morales as a kid, so I would set up boundaries and stand my ground when necessary.

I’ve seen this with other people too, having poor self-esteem often makes people selfish or self-involved. When you know yourself well and your confident in who are, it tends to be easier to care for others.

The more people love themselves in a healthy way, the more they care about others. It bothers me though that some people will avoid a person with insecurities because of this. I think some people just need to have it pointed out, or they need a bit of help. However, there are some people who will not notice all the nice things you do for them and won’t return the nice things because they are too self-involved. Even after you point it out, they don’t change. So it is important to not fall down the rabbit hole of letting people continuously take advantage of you.

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Finally! Self-Esteem Boosting Activities 

1. Journaling & Lists

It can be helpful to journal about who you want to become. And then some goals you want to achieve. Then, try to break those goals down into smaller goals. Some of the self esteem boosting activities below may help you decide what goals to work on. As I mentioned above, goals should not be focused on making a lot of money or be recognized for your talents.

I mentioned a few awesome ideas for improving self-esteem in my last blog, Improving Self-Esteem & Confidence in Your Career. One of those ideas was writing down skills and accomplishments, but I also think writing down general things you like about yourself is very effective. This could be anything from being a good at a hobby, a sport, or being friendly, honest, funny, loving your hair, or how well you decorate a space. Think of skills, talents, personality traits, your character, etc. The more you can come up with the better!

Write all these things in a journal, or post some up on your mirror to reference and remind yourself of how awesome you are. I have done a lot of this type of journaling before in the past, so I know it is effective.

2. Mindfulness

As I mentioned earlier, due to my chronic health issues, I developed a greater sense of awareness. It was essential in keeping myself from being overcome with anxiety and/or depression. I started learning mindfulness through meditation. I learned how to focus on being present in the moment. My focus was on what I needed to do to just get from one minute to the next without concerning myself with the next day, week, or year. I stopped obsessing about the past and the future. And I also developed coping strategies to stop myself from going into ultimate stress mode.

Being mindful and aware isn’t just important for dealing with pain though, it is important for everyone’s mental health. Being more mindful means developing greater wisdom, knowing yourself so much better, and the list goes on… We can make better decisions on our journey through life when we wake up with mindfulness.

Read more about meditation and mindfulness in my blog How Mindfulness Improves Your Health & Life

3. Being Grateful

Being grateful can also improve your self-esteem! Read more on it in my blog: Being Grateful NOT a Magical Pill, BUT is Potentially Life Changing

4. Books, Articles, and Personality Quizzes

I personally love learning more about myself. I believe it is one of the best self-esteem boosting activities I have done. Myers-Briggs is the most popular personality assessment, and I have found it to be super helpful in understanding my personality. Truity has multiple personality tests, my favorite is the Enneagram. Another popular one especially in business is DISC, and it helps you to understand how you communicate and why you communicate that way.

You can find a book on anything you struggle with, anything you want to improve on, or anything you want to understand about the world. I have read many books that have helped me to understand the world and where I fit into it. A favorite of mine is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Growing up, I often felt like I needed to be more extroverted and that it was better to be an extrovert. However, this book made me realize that our society is just set up that way. And being an introvert is a really awesome thing. In fact, I love being an introvert.

Just as you can find a book on anything, you can also find articles on any topic. There are articles for inspiration, motivation, and a ton of awesome psychology articles to help you better understand yourself or the people around you.

5. Engage in Hobbies & Activities You Enjoy

If you are good at or enjoy writing, cooking, basketball, being a good friend, certain crafts, or something else, incorporate these things more into your life. You will be happier and feel better about yourself. These things are more beneficial than posting a bunch of great photos on social media, and feeling good based on how many “likes” you get. That feeling doesn’t last long.

6. Practice Wellness – Of Course!

Of course this is a wellness blog, so I have to say practice wellness. We feel better about ourselves when we take good care of ourselves. Getting enough sleep, eating healthy, getting exercise, managing stress, drinking enough water, all matter.

7. Affirmations

Some people love affirmations and some people find them silly. I read this book “The Mind Body Toolkit” which talks about how your body is listening to you. So even though you might not believe something, if you say it out loud your body hears it and has a positive reaction to it. So if you say, “I love my body,” your body is going to have a positive reaction, and over time you can actually feel that way. Also, when you say negative things about yourself, your body will keep you in that negative state. If you want to improve your feelings about your body, pick out 1 or 2 things you like in the mirror and remind yourself of it every day.

Say a few affirmations out loud every day, or write them out and place them where you can view them every day.

Check out these lists 101 Positive Things to Say to Myself and 120 Self-Love Affirmations to Become Kinder to Yourself

8. Therapy & Energy Healing

Sometimes in order to feel fully well in the mind, we need to remove crap from the past. Everyone has some past trauma, but some are more affected by theirs. There may be stuff stuck in the unconscious or negative thoughts that spiral consciously.

Therapy is great, if you feel you have a mental health problem, negative stuff that needs to be talked about, validated, or anything like that. If not, energy healing might be a consideration. Some energy healing stuff is really weird and questionable. In some instances, it is hard to tell if they really did anything. BUT…

I’ve researched and learned about three and experienced all three. The one that I felt was actually the most scientific and actually makes sense is body field harmonizing. Oh yes, and I noticed a difference, otherwise I wouldn’t mention it. It is done using tuning forks to clear stressful energy from your past held in your body field. Might sound weird, but it is a fact that we are all made up of energy. I won’t go too much into this in this blog, but every medical system utilizes the concept of our energy: Modern Medicine, Functional Medicine, Naturopathic, Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda Medicine, etc. I could go into great detail defining energy medicine for all of these, but I will save that for a future blog.

Hope this blog helps you become the best you!

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All My Healthy Mind Blogs:

Being Grateful NOT a Magical Pill, BUT is Potentially Life Changing

Remove Clutter Around You & In Your Mind

Why We Need Critical Thinking & Barriers of Critical Thinking

Changing Negative Thought Patterns & Ruminating

Improving Self-Esteem & Confidence in Your Career

How Mindfulness Improves Your Health & Life

Another Year Passes, Let’s Appreciate the Journey

We Devalue Empathy, Yet We All Need It!